The City That Bleeds

As you think of your dream vacation, what spot comes to mind? London? Southern France? Perhaps Greece or Italy? The pink sands of the Bahamas? The tropical weather of Brazil? Or perhaps you wish to visit the bustling city of Tokyo, rub shoulders with the famous in Los Angeles? If you're me, then the city with the highest homicide rate comes to mind. That's right, Bodymore, Murderland (a nickname pulled from the opening credits of "The Wire").

Let me tell you a story. About four years ago, I was a sophomore in college trying to find a way to procrastinate so I wouldn't have to actually write an essay on some novel that I was being force-fed. The best way for me to kill time, then and now, was to sit down in front of my tv and lose myself in the twenty-eighth viewing of "Trading Places" or the 822nd of "Coming to America." Alas, comedy central, TNT, TBS and the like were not playing these two impossible-to-resist Eddie Murphy movies. I was forced to flip through the channels to find another suitable source of diversion. And what was on CourtTV? But a crossover marathon of Law& Order. And that was how I found "Homicide."

It's true that I had two friends who both had tried to engage me in the series earlier, but they had both failed to convince me to give it a real chance. I suppose I just needed to discover it on my own. Soon I was watching every re-run, taping them to keep for posterity. Eventually, I ended up seeing the episodes more times than the two friends who tried to introduce me to the series in the first place.

In falling in love with "H:LOTS" and the actors who made the show so memorable, I fell in love with Balmer. After all, Baltimore was the inspiration, the setting and the main character of, what is in my mind, the greatest drama ever to air on television. There is no way to separate one from the other. After making my way through the fifth season, I started to wish that I could have been in the city when they were making the show. That I would have realized what kind of show was on NBC Friday nights and decided to stay home once and a while to watch it.

They say better late than never. And there was once about three years ago that I thought my dream would be coming true, even if it was belatedly. Unfortunately, the plan fell through and I had to put the idea of visiting the home of Bayliss and Pembleton to rest.

As luck would have it, I got a job this year. And with the job came a room and the need for furniture. New, cheap furniture. And what is the place where you can find the best furniture for the most reasonable price? IKEA, of course. And guess where the nearest IKEA store just happens to be. That's right. Baltimore.

So, it seems that for the time being that the fates are looking out for me. They've given me a reason, an excuse, to make my way to mecca. I just hope that when I get there, it lives up to the expectations I built-up in my mind.

And that it hasn't changed too much from the Baltimore I fell for in the dusty syndication of "Homicide."