Life After Cancellation

I won't give any excuses (even though Baltimore, a craft show and a move are three very good ones) why I zoned out for almost half a year, but just focus on the fact that I'm back and that I do apologize for taking my dear sweet fucking time.

I am cursed.

I type this with complete sincerity. I could mean nothing more.

What does this curse entail, you might ask. And if you're not asking, stop reading because I'm going to tell you anyway. I cannot go a single year without having one of my favorite tv shows canceled. Don't laugh at me. It's a serious curse. In fact, by now I am almost convinced that shows get axed because I watch them.

Truth of the matter is, if I like it it either:
1. Totters on the brink of cancellation
2. Gets cancelled
3. Or has been cancelled for quite some time before I realize it exists

There are only three exceptions: Lost, which became huge, Degrassi:TNG, which doesn't really count since it's shipped in from Canada, and the Gilmore Girls, which, to be fair, lives in content fear of being cancelled.

Case and point, the networks hate what I love. And they are stupid for it. It's not like I'm watching "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place" or "Family Guy." Speaking of "Family Guy"-- how come this shit gets a second chance when Fox didn't give one
to the one-billionth times better "Undeclared"? I just don't get it!

The up-fronts have come and gone and I have lost two more shows (and at the worst possible times in the series). "Joan of Arcadia" is tossed out with yesterday's trash so that CBS can make room for a show with Jennifer Love Hewitt (kill me!) about a chick who talks to ghosts (rip-off of "Medium" which is a rip-off of "Wire in the Blood"). Say what you will about the show, but there was nothing on tv that dealt with faith and morality so much (and so well) without choosing religious sides and being all touchy-feely. What other show features a sarcastic God and a great father, who just also happens to be an atheist? And just when the evil dude shows up! And UPN who has very little to offer outside of Monday nights and the super-stellar (and almost cancelled) "Veronica Mars", axed "Kevin Hill" without a second thought. Talk about an amazingly shitty ending for a series - the man loses the baby and that's it!!! Oh my God!

I wanted this year to be different. I thought it would be. Miraculously, both "Veronica Mars" and "Arrested Development" were kept around for at least another year. Shows I am less invested in came back - "Numbers," "Crossing Jordan," "Medium," "Scrubs." Hell, Kyle Secor even got a new show. I thought it was locked, but unfortunately my luck caught up with me and my buddies Joan and Kevin were shafted.

I shouldn't be surprised, this happens all the time. I can't remember when exactly it started, but I can list some of the casualties. I loved "Boston Common" - which aired on NBC for a little more that one season. It was one of the funniest show I have ever seen. It was axed and now Boyd is stuck doing shit like "Yes, Dear." "Ned and Stacey" flopped ratings wise, Fox cancelled it and now both of its stars Thomas Hayden Church and Debra Messing are free to line their shelves with their Emmys and Golden Globes and various other critics awards. "Freaks and Geeks" should have been kept around. It was an excellent show and every time I watch my box-set, watch and laugh at anything else with Judd Apatow's name or see all those Linda Cardellini ER spots, I mourn the loss of Lindsay and Sam and Neil and Nick and Bill and Kim and Ken and Daniel. Two of the biggest burns came from the Absolute Bastard company. They kicked off the witty "Sports Night" in favor of the wimpy "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place." I don't care how attractive Ryan Reynolds is, that show sucked. How could they cancel Felicity Huffman, Peter Krause, Josh Charles and Robert Guillaume? It makes so sense. Then they canceled "Gideon's Crossing" even though it had pretty good ratings. Which forced me to follow my dear Andre to that shitty cabbie show and Ravi to the ordinary "Crossing Jordan" (of which he and the British guy are the best part). I hate those Disney bitches.

There have been more, or course, but none parallels to the pain caused by American Movie Classics. A channel that had doesn't have to succumb to Nielsen Ratings. It's cable for God's sake and they didn't have anything else to offer! But they cancelled "Remember WENN"-- the show right under "Homicide: LOTS" as the best TV show of all time (ask least on my list). No reason, no warning, it was just gone. What made it even worse was that it left in the middle of a cliff hanger. A major cliffhanger -- two major cliffhangers. Now for I'll have all eternity to wonder whether Betty will pick Scott or Victor and I'll never know who the fuck Hillary is married to. And to add grave insult to grave injury, the AMC website says "there are no plans to re-broadcast or produce additional episodes of Remember WENN, nor is it available for purchase." They won't even put it on DVD!!! How is that fair?? Bastards!

The curse doesn't stop there. It is so bad it even starts to affect shows I love that are in syndication. For example, I began watching and falling in love with "Homicide: LOTS" only to have CourtTV stop playing old episodes so that they could play more "NYPD Blue" (a far inferior show). After I discovered how fabulous "Northern Exposure" is, the Hallmark Channel decides to play a fifth episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" at two in the morning. They've stopped playing the show altogether. Now the only way I can get my fix is to buy the damn DVD sets, which I'm not ready for.

In conclusion, I ask you this: How come Paris Hilton gets renewed and CSI gets three shows, but there is absolutely no room for Taye Diggs and God?